Friday, 6 May 2011

... is the beginning is the end is the begining is the end...

As someone who has always been on the outside (in some senses of the word) I've always had the opportunities to do things as I will, without the need nor sense that I had to perform a certain way, or do a certain thing, in order to be accepted or to "fit in". When I say 'outsider' I don't mean being a loner or whining about not having any friends - any lack of "friends" comes from my decidedly antisocial lifestyle and my strict definition of the term - what I mean by it is that for all of my life I've lived a distance outside of the main social hub of this province, preventing me from being as involved in the hardcore scene as much as I would have liked to be. While still being able to venture out for needed viewing (Distort III, The Endless Blockade, Swans, last War Hero show, etc) and keeping in contact with reliable and worthwhile people out there, obviously I'll never be "one of them" due to the fact that I'm simply not around to go through the changes they see, or witness the walls they build up (and the ones they break down), or understand their inner workings, or be part of their inner circles. By outsider I also mean that within my own scene, or what was once a scene, in this town, I was by no stretch of the imagination the only one who knew what a distro was, the only one who knew vinyl was the primary source of media in hardcore, the only one to bring bands that were more than party music and terrible excuses for "hardcore". I guess that's just what happens in smaller cities and I'm not writing this to toot my own horn or glorify myself in any way, though guaranteed some are going to read this and think those exact things. And with that last part being mentioned, I suppose the definition of 'outsider' can take on a Wilson-esque approach in which I am alienated by my alienation of others.

The direct point with all of this being: when times call for a change, I am free to make that change via whatever routes I feel I have to take, I can be as dramatic as I want about it, or as quiet, and for the most part people will feel the same way. Those who know me, and by that I mean actually know me, understand who I am and why I do the things I do the way I do them. I started a distro when I was 15 years old and impressionable. I didn't know the first thing about anything, but I acted like I did. I started putting out records when I was 16 years old and the same applies. I can't take back the things I've said, the records I've released, the ideas I've had and have put forth nor do I have regrets or wish to take any of it back. It's a part of me and a part of everyone's life in which they go through similar things (though not always via the same avenues). All of it is just at the point now where the future direction of my involvements in hardcore (records, distribution, thoughts, processes, ideals) are completely different than they were when I was 15 years old and therefore can no longer operate under the same banner (which if defining it literally as a banner, I never liked the name in the first place). The only real solution to this problem is putting an end to one thing, and carrying on with another.

To use a method so prominent in today's internet culture, I'll now show a quote from someone I know next to nothing about and proclaim it to be something I've always held dear to my heart (in reality: sometimes it just takes someone else to say the things we've always thought before we realized we've ever thought that way before):

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" - Krishnamurti

So there's the reasoning behind the end and the beginning. A lot of people will undoubtedly get the wrong impression (see: previous mention of alienation via alienation), but it is what it is.

To go into label specifics: none of the slated projects from the previous name will come to fruition under this new front. The bands have all been aware of the change for some time and they are continuing on as they would.

Further details of an upcoming distribution project will be given when the time is right (which isn't now).

Absurd
–noun
2. the quality or condition of existing in a meaningless and irrational world.

Exposition
-noun
2a. a statement or rhetorical discourse intended to give information about or an explanation of difficult material.

In short: trying to find meaning in meaninglessness.

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